Mark Rouse

                Writing example: Haha's little treasure

This I wrote for a contest called the flash fiction challenge. It had certain criteria that had to be met for the challenge. First, it could be no longer than 1000 words. It had to be in the genre of historical fiction. The location must be at a river. And it had to contain a dead fish, not the river, the story.  Oh, and I only had 48 hours to write it. So here it is, please leave any feedback about it on my Facebook page. Thanks!

                                                        Haha’s little treasure

         Little Youko and her mother are taking their favorite walk together by the river side. But the events of today will make it their last.

         This was unusual. But she would make the most of it. For some reason, her mother had dressed her in her ceremonial clothes this morning. But she did not mind. It has been so long since they had walked down here together. This was her favorite time of year, it was called the month of falling leaves. And what a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining and warm. A nice gentle breeze was making the grass dance and sway. A million little ripples cascaded across the water. They had found this spot beside the river just a few years earlier. Most of this river ran through the city and was surrounded by houses or large factories. But not this spot. It was really nice. It went on for only a short distance, but far enough that she would always find interesting things here.

         She skipped and ran along the semi-dirty water looking for exciting things to entertain herself. Maybe a frog or a salamander, either of which would be fun. Her mother, as always walked behind her. Mom was always happy and smiling enjoying the day with her. But not today. Mom's face was somber and unhappy. She wondered for a moment if it had anything to do with what she had overheard. The grownups were all so sad. Something terrible had happened a few days ago. She knew that a lot of people had died. Maybe even her father. He worked in one of the factories that lined this river. But he has been gone for a while now. Off fighting for something. Mom had rarely stopped crying the last few days. She knew nothing about that, so she just kept looking for something, anything that would cheer her up.

         There was something there, in the water ahead. What was it? A small dark shape bobbed just off shore. She ran over to where it was. She wanted desperately to get it. Needed to see what it was. She knelt down at the water’s edge and stretched as far as her small arms would go. But it was just too far, she could not reach it. Realizing this she started looking around for something to reach it. Mom looked at her puzzled, but she would see. This may be something wonderful. She giggled and smiled while she looked. She was so thrilled. She just knew that this treasure, whatever it was, would be great. In the grass was a stick. Perfect. She went and retrieved it. It should be just long enough. This was a good find. She was very pleased with herself. Returning to the water’s edge she began the retrieval of the strange object. This was so exciting. But the stick was just a little too short. She beat the water with it trying to use the water to bring it to her. But that did not work either. She stretched as far as her petite arms would go.

       “Youko.” Her mother called from behind her with concern. She wanted badly to get this for mom, so she ignored her.

       “Youko!” Her mother’s voice was full of fear. She could hear her footsteps come up behind her. She needed to get this for her, however. She reached out ever further, the object, whatever it was still at the uttermost of her reach.

       “Musume!” Her mother cried as she caught her by her obi just as she was about to fall in the water. This near baptism in the river gave her the reach she needed. The end of the stick grabbed a hold of the strange object and pulled it nearer. As it grew closer it became clear what exactly it was. It was a small fish. She did not know what kind of fish it was. It had little color to it, mostly gray with just a little blue on its fins. It appeared to still be alive. It was on its side, mouth closing and opening in a desperate gasp. The eye that she could see was wide and unblinking. She then wondered if fish did blink.

        Her mother pulled her all the way back to safety. She steadied herself on the shore and looked intently upon the fish. It was dying. Even with the experience that her only seven years had brought her, she could tell. Its breathing slowed and finally stopped. She reached down gradually into the cold water and retrieved the newly dead fish. She held it gently in her hands and started to weep softly for the animal.

      “Haha,” she said sadly as she turned to show her mother, still holding the dead fish in her hands. But her mother was not paying attention to her, she appeared to be looking to some far off place in the distance. “Haha!” She said again trying to get her mother’s attention but with more desperation. That’s when she heard them. The sound of a faint low buzzing noise filled the air. She knew what that sound meant. Her hands fell, dropping the fish to the ground. She stood and looked in the same direction that her mother was. It was towards the city of Nagasaki where they lived.

      “Haha?” She asked as she reached and took a hold of her mother’s hand. Her mother did not respond to her right away. She just looked off into the distance tear faced with fear deep in her eyes. From the direction of the city, some sirens started to sound.

      “Haha?” Again the frightened child asked. Her mother turned to see the beauty that she and her husband had made. She gave her daughter the best smile she could muster through her tears. Then the bright light. The booming loud sound. An immense wave of heated air blew causing them to lose their balance and fall to the ground behind them. Her mother looked on her true treasure once again and smiled as the fires consumed them both.